Believe me I was not born knowing how to raise, teach or mentor kids.  My knowledge has come from years of school and most importantly from raising 12 therapeutic foster care and 2 biological children.  Oh and those 24/7 childcare centers I operated along with my work in the Juvenile Court System didn’t hurt either.

Listen, when your life has been surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of kids that you don’t have the option of spanking, popping, pinching etc. you learn creative ways to manage behavior and guide kids to success. 

HINT: You cannot continue to do the same thing and expect a different result.

If you yelled last time and they yelled back . . . guess what?  When you yell the next time, chances are they WILL yell back . . . again.

One of you is going to have to change the action or the reaction and it is not likely to be your child.

So who does that leave?  Yep, YOU!

I invite you to name your topic and I will offer at least one solution.

Ha, my coaching clients don’t call me the “Youth Success Doctor” for nothing! (Well I’m sure the Ph.D. helps, LOL)

That may sound like a fairly simple straight forward question but the answer may not be as easy as you think.

Remember now, I asked for your favorite.  That means only ONE!

Most people I know have a few quotes they really really like.  So selecting THE quote may require extra pondering.

I know it did for me because there are 3 quotes that I like a lot but . . .

I must say that my favorite quote, hands down is . . .

YOU Are Writing The Story Of A Child’s Life One Day At A Time, I Challenge You To Make It A Happy Ending!

That quote seems to perfectly fit everything I have been teaching parents, teachers and mentors.

We must realize that children do not wake up one day in jail.

We must remember that dysfunctional adults were once children.

We must take responsibility for the lives we have been entrusted to nurture.

We MUST live as an example that Empowers Youth to Succeed!

So every time you talk and walk, know that someone is watching. 

It’s a heavy responsibility but I know you can handle it.

Fill each page of your child’s story with love, joy, peace, happiness and POWER!

What is your favorite quote?

When kids are young and they do something inappropriate like steal another child’s truck or hit their cousin or talk back to their teacher, parents can often be heard saying “You owe John an apology, young man.  Now go over there and say you’re sorry”

Oooooh that sends memory shivers down my spine.  Probably because I have said that to at least one of my many children.

Well, kids certainly need to learn how to humble themselves and apologize when they are wrong.  Right?

Sooooooo, tell me something. 

Why is it so hard for us to apologize to our kids?

Surely we are not always right and we can’t possibly be perfect, so what seems to be the problemo?

If you’ve been reading my words for any length of time, you’ve heard me say that we must LIVE what we want our children to be.

How will they learn to apologize if you never do?

Remember, I coach parents, teachers, mentors and YOUTH!

And one of the things I hear most often from kids is that YOU don’t listen and YOU always have to be right.

The results of that posture are children who don’t listen, don’t talk and often times, won’t care.

I can’t believe that is what you want.  But you have to understand that is what you may very well get.

1.  How do you feel when your significant other won’t apologize to YOU when they are wrong?

2.  How does it feel when your boss doesn’t listen to you?

3.  How does it feel, even now, when your parents always have to be right? (you know, when they are telling you how to raise your kids)

Well guess what, Kids Are People Too!

P.S. Teachers and Mentors are guilty of this too.

I know, unlike most people I like change.

So today is “Willing Wednesday” and I want to know:

What are you willing to do or change to empower your child for success (that means any child you raise, teach or mentor)?

Don’t act like you are perfect. LOL!

I am the Youth Success Doctor and I have an answer or two or three.

So my response for this week is: I am willing to ”Put Down The Laptop”!

Honestly, I spend an enormous amount of time on the computer.

It wasn’t a problem during the summer because my daughter spends the summer with her dad, but now she is back and expects even more attention than usual.  And believe me that’s a lot of attention.

I have a gazillion things that all need to be done ASAP, (you know the feeling) but I am sure my kids DON’T CARE!

So I must do what is best for my daughter (my son is a sophomore in college) and not what is pressing for me.

Right? right.

Well then, what are YOU willing to do or change to empower your child for success?

I hope you are getting comfortable and learning the kinds of open-ended questions that are best for great conversations with your kids. 

Don’t stress if it takes time to come up with topics all by yourself, it will get easier with practice.

Now I have some good news and some bad news.  Which do you want first? LOL

Bad news: I plan to change themes in September which means I won’t have a “TALK TO YOUR KIDS” day

Good news: I am creating a weekly newsletter which will include my Talk Topic suggestions.  BUT, you must be on my email list to receive the topics and all the other goodies I’m cooking up.  It’s easy, just sign-up for one of the FREE Memberships and you are IN!

I’ll be looking for you!

So now for today’s talk topics:

Preschool- If you were an animal then what would you be?

Elementary- When do you think it is OK to tell a lie? Why?

Middle School- If you could trade lives with somebody you know, who would it be? Why?

High School- (This weeks topic provided by EYS member Jenise SocialButterfly Bradshaw) 

What do you think would be good and bad about your school checking student cell phone texts and call logs?

College- Do you feel you are as intelligent as most of your friends? Why or why not?

Don’t forget the conversation extenders I shared two weeks ago.

Ready, Set, Go have that TALK!

Don’t forget to leave a comment and share what they say.

Ask your child to complete this sentence:

I would describe my parent as  ____________.

If you’ve been following along, you know that “MIRROR MONDAY” is your time to honestly reflect on the seeds or weeds YOU are planting in your child’s life.

Some of you like the challenge and some of you won’t even talk to me on Mirror Monday’s, LOL!

So I want to share what my daughter said when I asked her the question today.  She’s 12 years old.

“honest, stylish, self-disciplined, principled, smart, and when you discipline us it makes sense from what I did, laid back but strict when you need to be, easy to talk to, excellent person to spend time with, determined, mom this is so hard because you do so much and you are just an all around great person”

Actually, I’m shocked at her response because I think I’m pretty strict and I don’t play.

But I now realize that I am truly blessed.

Heaven knows, girls at her age are not usually very fond of their mothers.  It’s nothing personal, they are entering those teen years when everything is wrong and nothing is right.  You know what I mean.

So I want to encourage you in two important areas.

1. You do not need to be your child’s friend to have a good relationship

2. You need to have rules and stick to them if you want to have a good relationship

Don’t confuse your role with your rights.

I’m just a key stroke away if you have questions about rules & consequences.

I use it almost everyday, several times a day to be accurate. LOL

And I know my kids do too.

The questions I have for you are:

1. Do You Monitor Your Child’s Wall or Page or Site?

2. Do You Know Your Child’s Login & Password?

3. Do You Look To See Who They Are Making Friends With?

4. Do You Have ANY Rules About Their Social Media Activity?

Hey, it’s a dangerous world out there in cyberspace and I would be amiss in my duties if I just assume that your answers would be YES, YES, YES, and YES!

Forget them whining about privacy.

Until they move out of your house and pay ALL of their own bills . . . there is no such thing as privacy!

At the very least you must make sure they are using Social Media responsibly and not just assume they are.  And even if you don’t like Social Media yourself, I advise you to get an account before you find out the hard way what your child is saying, doing and where they are going.

The funny thing about kids.  They put all of their business on their wall, like adults can’t read it.

See, that’s what I mean about not “thinking”.

Even if your child is not doing something wrong, per se, they are still probably posting things that an employer would not like.

Did you know that employers read applicants Social Media sites before making a hiring decision?

Ok smarty pants. LOL

Did you know that YOUR employer reads your Social Media page too?  Hmmmm

Oh so you work for yourself, huh?

Well then,

Did you know that future clients, JV partners and existing customers read YOUR rantings too?

Sure hope you have a delete button. LOL!

Ok, enough of the jokes.

Spot check your kids and stop them from making cyberspace mistakes that will live forever!

I mean a real true, deep down passion!

Do you ever have days when you wonder if all the energy, time, effort and money you put into your passion is making a difference?

Well by now you know that my passion is Empowering Youth for Success, right?

But today I woke up wondering if anyone is listening.  Are parents changing?  Do teachers care?  Will my efforts really help young people?

I have to be honest.  I LOVE what I do and I know it is my calling in life.

After-all how many people have raised 12 therapeutic foster care and 2 biological children.  Well maybe a few but not many had a 24/7 childcare in their home and 11 children living in their home all at the same time. LOL

Ok, back to my point.

I really do LOVE what I do but it amazes me how many people pretend to care about our youth yet are not putting their mouth or their money or their time or their muscle or much else where it really counts.

Hey, when it comes to young people, TALK IS CHEAP!

In order to Empower Youth for Success, YOU must be willing to change your mindset and the youth must have a reason to change their behavior.

So which do you think comes first, the chicken or the egg?

Well I don’t know the answer to that ancient riddle but I do know that YOUR change must precede that of the child in your life.

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

Every post I write has a lesson in it!  Don’t be so quick to believe I am not talking to YOU!

None of us is perfect, no not one. 

This is your challenge:

Good Better Best, Never Let it Rest

Until Your Good Becomes Better

And Your Better Becomes Your Best

P.S. Ending this month after about 21 days on the road, I felt the exhaustion.  And then I read a post today from Laurie Gracie Polinski a member of my Facebook EYS family which says:  It takes courage and strength to BE the change you want to see in the world.

Laurie, thank you for filling me with energy.  You reminded me of something I used to often say as a child.

“If I’m going to complain, I must be ready to be part of the change”

One of my friends shared this video on Facebook and after watching it, I HAD to share it with you.

Even if you are not the comment kind of person, you MUST have something to say about that. LOL

Love ya!

Well I am going to stay on topic but after reading a Facebook post last week, I decided to do something a little different.

This month I had a theme called “WASTE-NOT” Wednesday where you teach your kids that successful people don’t to waste resources.  I have covered wasting time, wasting effort, wasting energy and this week was about wasting MONEY.

So this post will fit right in.

It’s about Identity Theft, yes that’s right!

You see, we are spending too much time teaching your children to be successful, for a thieft to come in broad daylight and steal it all away.  Hey, whatever happened to thieves at least having the decency to steal at night and behind our backs?  Geez!

So in honor of “Teaching Your Child To Think”, I found an awesome article with tips that surprised even ME!

You cannot raise a successful child without teaching them to think.  And thinking about ways to guard their money and their identity MUST be included.  It’s sad but true.

You may even learn a few things from the list.  I sure did!

13 Things An Identity Thief Won’t Tell You

13 More Things An Identity Thief Won’t Tell You